Wednesday, September 21, 2011

BS

Today was our baby's due date. I know that practically no babies are born on their actual due date, but that doesn't really change things in my mind. It's just weird thinking that I should currently have a big baby bump and that our guest bedroom should be transformed into a nursery by now.

The past six months have been pretty hard. It seems like it always hits me at the most inopportune times. There have been moments when I have wanted to slap pregnant girls/moms for all of their complaining. I know that isn't nice, but it's the truth. It's also true that I will probably find myself complaining about pregnancy and motherhood in the future.

If you are wondering about the title, that is the nickname my sister gave our baby--you know BS for "Baby Sommers." She thought it was hilarious. Then it became terribly ironic when we lost the baby. I remember about four or five weeks after losing the baby thinking to myself, "Did that actually happen? Am I actually this heart broken over someone who didn't have a name? Someone that I technically never met?"

I don't want to make this day too depressing, so I am posting the video we made to announce that we were expecting. We found out we were pregnant on our cruise so we filmed it while we were there. Then we told our parents we wanted to show them our trip (and at the end they got a big surprise). We were going to post it for all of our friends and family, but we found out we had lost the baby about a week before our planned announcement.

I love this video. I love that we captured how excited we were before the bad news came. We worked so hard on this video because we wanted to get it done quickly to show our parents. I was so exhausted from being pregnant and I remember laying on the couch watching Nate work on it and barely being able to keep my eyes open. This is so strange, but the music actually makes me a little nauseated. I remember hearing it over and over again while experiencing morning sickness. Such a funny memory.

Enjoy the video. I wish we could be celebrating in the Caribbean today. I feel like that would be totally appropriate. (Shalynna, I hope you especially enjoy the shots of the Cayman.)



we <3 you, Baby Sommers

15 comments:

Amanda S. said...

Thanks for posting this, M.C. You are an amazing person! I love that you guys have this video to treasure. It's really sweet and idyllic.

Margaret said...

Good luck with today. I almost bawled from this video because you two are so cute. That's supposed to be a compliment.

Danny & Desirae Sommers said...

You and Nate are simply the most amazing people I know. I loved the video...and cried a little.

Love you!

Rachel DeFreese said...

Oh, M.C.. I am sorry that you have to go through this. I only know that it hurts and is harder than anyone outside of the situation can comprehend. Love and miss you, girl!

Alisha Erin said...

:(

Heather Lee said...

You and Nate are ideal parents. I looooved the video. Happy Birthday Baby Sommers!
It's so refreshing to hear from someone that anticipates the parenthood lifestyle with such sincerity. I'll be here when you want to complain though.

David and Shalynna said...

That was the most precious thing. I loved it. I love the whole feel of it- you made the perfect choice for the music and I just love the short clips. Sorry, I can't think of any words tonight and keep using the word "love" in this comment! Also, the souvenirs section is so clever. Makes me want to go on a cruise and get pregnant just so I can have Nate make a video for us like that! How did he get the black frame around the picture?

Enough about the video. M.C. you are amazing. I admire you so much for your strength. I can't wait to see you use all of these wonderful attributes you have when you become a mother. You will be a perfect mother. You just possess the characteristics that any perfect mother has. You're my idol.

I'm going to have David watch it with me tonight. Thanks for sharing. I love you!

Hannah Frank said...

MC, such a sincere post! For some reason the video wouldn't play but I'm sure it was amazing! So sorry this day had to come. I look forward to you and Nate being such sweet parents!

b said...

Love you, MC and thinking of you two today. You two are just the greatest. What a beautiful video!
-Angela (not sure how to change the b..) =)

Katie said...

MC, my heart goes out to you. You are such a strong woman and i can only imagine how tough all this is to go through. I love you! The video---Amazing. That is so fun for you to have documenting your trip, and the message at the end was adorable. One day Baby Sommers will be in your arms and you will be the cutest mama ever.

Amanda Nemelka said...

The iPad won't let me watch the video -- once I can wrestle Jeff's laptop from him, I will check it out. I feel guilty because I'm positive that I'm part of the "complaining mothers" group that you have been subjected to. I apologize. It's easy to get caught up in myself too often. And if I've ever made a flippant remark about pregnancy, just know I'm sorry. We love you guys! You are going to be amazing parents!!

David and Shalynna said...

I'm back. I forgot to tell you that I did appreciate the Cayman clips. It still haunts me that my email to you was too late and that you had to eat at Captain's Bakery and pay the same price you would a nice dinner in UT. Haha. Also, the fact that the song makes you nauseous? Hilarious. I actually have two pairs of shoes that make me nauseous when I look at them because I wore them so much my first trimester. Miss you. Come visit me in the South. I'll pamper you and be the best host possible.

bec said...

you are such an amazing person M.C. I really look up to you so much and hope that you are doing okay. Also, I hope I haven't whined too much, I know I have no right to

Jessica Laitinen said...

what a special video and tribute to your baby. you will be a wonderful mom to your babies, M.C.

jbroclayto said...

Thank you so much for sharing that my dear. You and Nate are certainly a picture of true love. Baby Sommers is lucky to be a part of your eternal family. I can't understand what you are going through but I just want to say I love you and think of you guys often. Thank you for being an honest example of courage.